Things are good here, me thinks. Just had a really great Thanksgiving dinner that I whipped up (and am STILL eating on 3 days later lol). I'm hoping that this time next year will be drastically different in that i will be self employed fulltime, newly preggers and maybe not cooking the entire meal but visiting fam or friends for the holiday and just relaxing and basking my newfound glow (cue singing birds and hopping bunny rabbits lol). I get overwhelmed with everything I have to do between then and now so I try not to ruminate on it so much lol.
As far as my eating plan, its been going ok, but I could step it up. Ive been taking the 2 brazil nuts a day, lots of raw milk and grass-fed butter, i had sardines last week and ive been taking half my magnesium supplement dose that i need about daily (i suck at swallowing pills so this is huge for me lol). Ive been keeping the chicken broth coming, pastured meats and an egg a day (sorta). But ive been slipping on going to the gym (*cough* havent gone yet*cough*), getting my fish, cod liver oil, chicken liver, oysters and salmon roe in and doing my daily quiet/prayer time. But hey, everyday is a new day to try again right?
But I gotta get serious about this baby stuff, Im now 32 and truly, really, i REALLY wanna be pregnant or at least trying by this time next year. FA SERIOUS. My biological clock isnt ticking, it has exploded already lol.
There has been a small baby book in my dept at work and its been kinda awkward to watch these ladies get pregnant, go through pregnancy, have their babies, go on maternity leave and show off their babies and then return. One lady in particular i felt severely...i dunno...jealous of, i dunno and i dont even really talk to her like that but for some reason, when she came in with her husband and newborn i was HIGHLY umcomfortable...like wanted to go cry uncomfortable. Maybe I was ovulating, i dunno. But that SUCKED. I dont need to be jealous of anyone...anything that they have, I can have and then some, i know that. But LAWD my ovaries were PISSED! lol Like, I dont even wanna be around a newborn or hold a newborn, or even give the precious pennies I have away for someone else's baby shower (that im not close with anyway). The way ive reasoned it is the only baby I wanna coo over, cradle and support with my monies IS MY OWN BABY. PERIOD. That sounds really nasty and petty dont it? But thas how I feel. Dont get me wrong, im really happy for these women, they are my age (which probably makes me feel even more a way about it lol), they are lovely women and their babies are gorgeous, but someone who has literally been in baby lust FOR YEARS, I have little patience for celebrating others' bundles of joy. Im hoping this changes once we have our own, cause WOOO, i feel like a b****! lol Smh.
Any other Pre-TTCers go through this?
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