Ok, so i had me another weird pregnancy/birth dream the other night in which I was simultaneously waterbirthing alongside Erykah Badu in the same birth pool. It was quite weird and ended in some equally weird breastfeeding montage that was CRAZY real, but I digress. The baby fever is on high these days, lol.
But having said that, i just recently have been looking even further, to the end of my own baby-making days. Ive always pictured myself pregnant or with a newborn or even a toddler, breastfeedng blissfully and changing diapers gleefully and chasing around a lil fluffy butt with babyface resembling my own. But from my many mommy-blog lurkings, ive been curious about life after baby-making and just being a mom to kids. Many mothers feel VERY done after they get their desired number of babies out and others just change their plans altogether after being hit with the hurricane known as parenthood, so they may stop earlier than anticipated. But most mothers seem to be genuinely elated to be done with that part of their lives and to "get their body back".
I wonder what that feels like. I mean, hear me out. All ive ever wanted to DO is to get my body INVADED per a sweet little heavenly cocoa baby, lol. So, to see folks at the point where they're good and ready to NOT be pregnant, ever again, is amazing and I wonder what it will feel like for me. Yea, i know, im so far ahead of myself its not even funny. I havent been anywhere near pregnant and yet here I am wondering what its like to be through with pregnancy and birth.
I mean, on some of the message boards I frequent, some women seem to go through a grieving period and even DREADING the day that they realize their baby-making days are over. They cry over knowing that they will never have that anticipation again, the excitement of trying for a baby, the thrill of realizing their pregnant, having that unspoken connection with a little being growing inside them and then the herculean feat of giving birth and taking care of a little one. They CRY over not having those days anymore. They cry over knowing that the next newborn they cradle may very well be someone else's or even further their own GRANDCHILDREN. Especially if they are on their last pregnancy. They cherish every little bit of it down to the last contraction, ache and baby kick.
I wonder what that will be like for me. Yes, i wonder what it will be like to decide to TTC and to be pregnant and to give birth, but wow, it must be AWESOME to know that, this is it, from here on out, my body belongs to me, Im SET and THIS is my family; we are HERE. These are my kids and my sole focus is to rear them to be the best they can be from here on out, without any real lifestyle changes that a new baby can bring. And then to also know that your body is yours and yours only again. To shape and modify and inebriate (heh) as you please. That must be pretty cool.
Shout out to you mothers out there who are done babymaking! It must feel great and I hope to get there one day.
